Leafs

(I took all these pictures my self 2 Sunday's ago.)

I got locked out of my apartment today so I sat outside under a tree and did some reading. My mind started to wander to the tree I was perched beneath. (can you be perched beneath something?) I often walk by a tree and pick a leaf to observe as I make my way to class or church or whatever, and I have always wondered if all leaves from the same tree are alike. To my eyes they appear to be exactly the same As it turns out, they aren't. Just like snowflakes and people, there are no two leaves alike. It would be obvious to a tree-lover that two leaves came from the same tree, but upon closer inspection one will discover that the notches, or edges, or little vein things in the middle are slightly different.

My next question was, so why exactly do trees lose their leaves anyway? I'm sure I learned it in like 4th grade, but I was thinking about it again today. As the days get shorter, the trees are no longer getting the same amount of energy from the sun as they do in the Spring and Summer. So in order for the whole tree to survive, it cuts off nutrients from the leaves and stores those nutrients and energy in its trunk and branches. The leaves must fall in order for the whole of the tree to survive. (Interesting that they are called LEAVES, because that's what they do; leave the tree).

The beautiful thing is, the tree stores its energy so IT doesn't die, so that it can bring forth leaves again in the Spring. The leaves make a sacrifice for the tree, and essentially mankind. If the leaves refused to fall, the trees wouldn't have enough energy to sustain them, and therefore die. If all deciduous trees died, there wouldn't be enough energy and oxygen to keep us all alive. What a beautiful process huh! It makes me wonder how much I'm willing to sacrifice in order for something else bigger and better to stay alive. It also adds support to what I already knew: that when I fall, there are better days ahead, there is hope to be born again in the Spring.

Pumpkins

Everyone in my family has posted something new on their blogs in the last few days so I was feeling left out.

Monday I carved a pumpkin with my friend Christine for a ward FHE pumpkin carving contest. We carved a piece of cheese into it.

Two of the groups of boys carved vomitting pumpkins, which is disgusting but kind of cool at the same time.

Comfortable In My Own Company

Although some people would vehemently disagree, I feel very lucky to attend school at BYU. Where else could I take a marriage prep class that would be chalk full of ways to apply gospel principles to marriage?

Today we talked about happiness. Our teacher posed the question "Are you comfortable in your own company?" We talked a little about what that means. One option is, do you feel comfortable being at home a lone on a friday night when all your roommates are on dates? Another option is do you recognize who you are, and are you happy with it? Are you comfortable with what you and the Lord have made of yourself?

The point of our discussion was to encourage us to stop looking for someone to 'make us happy' and start realizing that whether or not we are happy will depend mostly upon ourselves, and our relationship with God. If I can be happy alone, then when I get a husband I can still be happy even when he doesn't always make me happy. I don't really know, but from what I hear husbands aren't perfect...which is weird, because wives are...right? :)

So, being comfortable with who I am alone, is going to set me up for being comfortable and happy and having joy in my marriage, and every other aspect of life as well.

Something that helps me be happy each day is when I start out by saying to my self: Self, you are GREAT no matter what anyone else thinks. Not that people don't think I'm great, because they do :), but you know how easy it is to make up that someone doesn't like you because they made a funny look at you when really they were just about to sneeze or something.

Wow, I made myself laugh when I wrote that last paragraph. Self, you are so funny.

My sister tagged me to place my 4th picture from my 4th album on my blog. I wasn't going to do it because I was embarrassed about this one. I had just received a haircut and straightened my hair for the first time since the cut, so I took a bunch of pictures of myself. I guess maybe I'm a little too comfortable in my own company?

My Song

I wrote a song. It's not way good but I'm proud of it. It's called Last Letter. You can view it by going to this website: It's not refined in this recording because I'm still working a few things out. I'm mostly only posting it so my siblings who live far away can hear it.

Enjoy.

Legacy of Lovers

This is part of a paper I had to write for one of my classes last year. A lot more people could be added to this, but I had a page limit :).

I have been blessed with an opportunity to be in a family full of incredible women. Grandmas, sisters, sister-in-laws, and of course my own mother are all major examples of what it means to love, and to teach the sacred purposes of life through everyday living.

One of the most wonderful things about my mom is that she knows how to do, as I like to say, everything. An avid quilter, she has patiently directed me as I have struggled to learn to sew. I wanted to re-upholster an incredibly comfortable and equally distasteful chair I purchased from Deseret Industries. Mom showed me the best way and would give me direction as I asked for it, but let me do it on my own and learn from my mistakes. Her talent in this specific area has transformed many a prom dress to fit our standards of modesty. I was able to find inexpensive dresses which mom fixed up so professionally that it was difficult to believe I had not spent hundreds of dollars to find a beautiful modest dress. She helped me live my values and standards so that I could become closer to my Heavenly Father, and closer to her. Much of what mom did for us I took for granted. I never knew it was hard to be a mother, for she made it look so easy. I love her for her strong testimony that has been a light in my life guiding me towards developing my own testimony. She taught me to love to do what is right.

My oldest sister Sarah has always been my ‘second mother’ so to speak, and thus I have learned a great deal from her example. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was nine years old. I did not quite understand the seriousness of the disease, but I did know that it was possible my mom could die. I came home from school one day and raced up to my room only to find that mom had made my bed and cleaned my room--even though she was sick and weak from chemotherapy. Immediately tears began to pour down my face because I realized how much I love my mom and wanted her to stay with me. I ran to Sarah for comfort. She gave me a hug and asked questions to get to the root of my feelings. I was able to open up to her and express all my worries and concerns. Her comforting words reassured me that we were all scared, but that we could get through this hard time if we stuck together as a family.

Even to this day Sarah is my easiest sister to communicate with. We can talk about anything and she is always interested in what I have to say. She is not so much concerned with giving advice as she is just listening. Sarah has taught me principles of good communication especially of the value of being able to listen.

Although she is four years older than me, my sister Hannah is my closest sibling in age. She is also my best friend. I spent the most time with her as we were growing up and I wanted more than anything to be just like her. She was and is a shining light in my life. One of the qualities that Hannah has taught me is the importance of being a good leader. Hannah has always been able to envision and then execute almost any plan. She served on her high school’s student council and then graduated from BYU with a degree in education. In both cases she has demonstrated her ability to incorporate everyone to be in line with the plan. I always go to Hannah for advice on the best way to get a job finished. Her ability to lead brings structure to her home. She can compromise and improvise in order to make any goal obtainable. Her leadership abilities have helped me realize the importance of setting and reaching goals; the ultimate goal of course being to return to our Heavenly Father.

Hannah has also taught me the joy of laughing. We often joke that it does not take much to get Hannah to laugh, and oh is her laugh contagious. She brings joy and laughter to any situation. She has taught me that it is so important to find something to laugh about even in difficult situations. Daily happiness that comes through laughing brings an enhanced ability to feel love from Heavenly Father and to share that love with others. Life does not seem so hard if there is something to laugh about. I am confident that Hannah will bring that same joy to her little boys as they grow up learning to laugh and smile like she does.

My third sister Betsy was born after Sarah but before Hannah. I remember a time when my parents had gone to Atlanta, Georgia for an overnight temple trip and contention among our siblings was building. I was the youngest at the time and feeling very picked on. I was upset and burst into tears. Betsy ran up to my room to see what the matter was. I explained that my feelings had been hurt and I felt left out and unimportant. She said very strongly that my siblings did love me and if I was ever having problems with one of the older kids that I could just tell her and she would help me work it out. That ability to serve selflessly has never left Betsy’s character. She and her husband are the greatest examples of service that I have ever encountered. They have an innate ability to recognize how they can help those in need. The service they render is unique, creative and adapted to each individual’s needs. I greatly admire Betsy’s desire for service and pray that I will be able to develop that same ability to serve selflessly in order to help other’s feel God’s love for them.

The greatest thing that I have learned from these women is the ability to love. Whether I look behind me to my past or beside me at my present, I have examples to help me understand the importance of raising a family to learn to love the Lord. Now as I begin to look in front of me to the future, I am excited to practice the principles I have learned from this legacy of lovers that I have been so blessed to be a part of. I hope to teach my children as my mother taught me, and my sisters teach their children, to have a testimony of Jesus Christ.